How to Stop Bedwetting
If you are like we were, and like most parents with a bedwetting child, you are probably wondering how to stop bedwetting. It can be a very frustrating and stressful time, both for the child and for the parent. Sleep-interrupted nights, smelly sheets, endless loads of washing, and trying to dry the sheets ready for the next night are just some of the inconveniences.
And seeing the effect of bedwetting on your child can be heartbreaking at times. Especially as they start to get a bit older and want to sleepover or go on camping trips, bedwetting can actually become a threat to their mental health.
One of the reasons that bedwetting is so frustrating is that it is often difficult to pinpoint the cause of bedwetting, and also many of the commonly-used options for trying to treat bedwetting are not actually any good. I get into this more further down.
Bedwetting Causes
Bedwetting (nocturnal enuresis) is a complex problem, and there may be many possible causes for your child’s bedwetting.
Importantly you should be aware that in some cases, bedwetting can be caused by a medical problem. It always pays to get your child checked out by a doctor early on. Some medical causes of bedwetting are diabetes, constipation and urinary tract infection, so visiting your doctor is definitely a wise course of action to rule these causes out.
It could be that your child’s bladder is smaller than usual. There is a school of thought that the bladder needs to be stretched to help it reach a normal size, but if your child is wetting the bed, the bladder does not get this opportunity to be stretched.
Perhaps you might think your child is a deep sleeper, or is hard to wake up in the middle of the night. Some children do seem to find it harder to wake up during the night to any stimulus, including that of a full bladder. Some research seems to indicate that this may actually be a hereditary problem.
Which of course leads us to the fact that children who have at least one parent who was a bedwetter are far more likely to be a bedwetter themselves. While this has been proven statistically, the actual reason why this can pass from parent to child (or more likely father to son), is not as clear.
Getting back to the more physical reasons for bedwetting, other potential causes are excess urine production at night, and the development of the brain’s awareness of other parts of the body (such as the bladder).
Normally we produce less urine at night because a hormone is released suppressing urine production. If this hormone is deficient then naturally more urine is produced, leading to a higher likelihood of a bedwetting incident.
If a young child’s brain is having difficulty learning about the signals from the bladder, then it may not react appropriately when the bladder is full. Either the signal is not getting through, or the brain is not recognizing the signal for what it is. Basically, the brain is not aware the bladder is full, so cannot wake the child.
Common Bedwetting Treatments (That Don’t Work!)
To understand how to stop bedwetting it is important to take a look at some methods that people commonly use, and why they might not be all that effective
Lifting, or the act of getting your child up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. If you have been trying this method for a while you will know that it just doesn’t work as a permanent solution. We used to do it with our son, and we thought we were having success, until we actually started recording our efforts and the results. We found that he was just as likely to wet the bed whether we lifted him or not.
Well, that’s not quite true. It helped during phases when he was particularly bad, but as a long term solution it just doesn’t cut it.
There are several reasons why lifting doesn’t work as a long term solution, including the fact that the child is usually not even awake when you take them to the bathroom. Also it’s not actually helping the brain and bladder get their act together and wake the child without your intervention.
Cutting down on fluids. Actually for similar reasons as lifting, this just does not work as a long term solution. There is always fluid in the body (stored in the cells) and urine is constantly being produced. Sure, cutting back on fluids might have some impact on the amount of urine production and hence reduce the need to go to the bathroom. But this sort of defeats the purpose. We want our child to wake when their bladder is full. This cannot be learned if the bladder never really gets full!
Actually there are some schools of thought that it’s not how much your child drinks, but what they drink that impacts on their bedwetting. Shannon Miller (who I introduce below) talks about this in her stop bedwetting program.
Star Charts, again this was something we tried with very little success. What I realized early on was that it is important to only give rewards for behaviors that the child can control. Rewarding the child for something that they have completely no control over is pointless. And the punishment of not getting a star was devastating. It was when I heard him say “But I tried my hardest” that I realized that this exercise was completely pointless. How could he possibly “try his hardest” to wake up from a deep sleep! The star charts went into the garbage that morning.
Punishment. This is the flipside to a reward system such as star charts. Unfortunately some parents seem convinced that the child is lazy or wetting the bed on purpose and punish the child when they wet the bed. This is almost certainly the worst possible thing you can do for your bedwetting child.
OK then, so how do I stop bedwetting?
Once you have ruled out any serious medical problems, your best option is to benefit from the experience of others who have been here before, and follow a proven program to learn how to stop bedwetting.
Shannon Miller helped her own son Josh stop wetting the bed, and now shares the exact methods she used in a program that can be followed by anyone.
Shannon and her husband spent months researching solutions to bedwetting, and after successfully helping Josh to stop wetting they decided to share their success with other parents facing interrupted nights, smelly sheets and upset children.
To learn more about her stop bedwetting program, click here
